We are
now a few weeks into the New Year, when resolutions prove to
be slippery little animals.
In the
spirit of celebration one tends to make commitments that seem valid
at the time... until it is time to put them to work.
Then, all sorts of alterations begin to seep in and before one knows it, there is an entirely valid excuse as to why:
- “Another glass of wine won't hurt...”
- “I'll quit smoking on Monday...”
- “I can't be on a diet because so and so's event/party/birthday... is coming up.”
Notice how New Year resolutions always come with giving up the good stuff?
And they wonder why nobody sticks to them!
Sure I make them too (mind you it's always when I am justifying choosing the “moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips” option), but mostly it's to be socially accepted while being treated to free appetizers – I know I have no backbone, don't judge me!
This is why myself and a few other sorry individuals have devised a list of the top ten reasons why “New Year resolutions Should Absolutely Be Broken”:
10. It hurts too much.
09. I was drunk when I said it.
08. My husband/wife still loves me anyway.
07. I can buy bigger clothes.
06. Isn't it important to be happy? Food makes me happy.
05. If I live too long my kids won't get the insurance money!
04. Who wants to wear a speedo anyway?
03. I'm already the smallest one of my friends.
02. If I look any better my spouse will demand sex more often.
01. If Kim Kardashian can get away with that ass, so can I baby!
Now, do you feel any better about breaking your resolutions only 42 hours in?
I sure do!
Then, all sorts of alterations begin to seep in and before one knows it, there is an entirely valid excuse as to why:
- “Another glass of wine won't hurt...”
- “I'll quit smoking on Monday...”
- “I can't be on a diet because so and so's event/party/birthday... is coming up.”
Notice how New Year resolutions always come with giving up the good stuff?
And they wonder why nobody sticks to them!
Sure I make them too (mind you it's always when I am justifying choosing the “moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips” option), but mostly it's to be socially accepted while being treated to free appetizers – I know I have no backbone, don't judge me!
This is why myself and a few other sorry individuals have devised a list of the top ten reasons why “New Year resolutions Should Absolutely Be Broken”:
10. It hurts too much.
09. I was drunk when I said it.
08. My husband/wife still loves me anyway.
07. I can buy bigger clothes.
06. Isn't it important to be happy? Food makes me happy.
05. If I live too long my kids won't get the insurance money!
04. Who wants to wear a speedo anyway?
03. I'm already the smallest one of my friends.
02. If I look any better my spouse will demand sex more often.
01. If Kim Kardashian can get away with that ass, so can I baby!
Now, do you feel any better about breaking your resolutions only 42 hours in?
I sure do!
Ella
Roberts,
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