Wednesday, May 15, 2013

ROMANCE IMPRACTICALITIES

Reading a novel at my local coffee shop and hoping not to get bothered, I somehow found myself sucked into a women's reading group.
     They mistook me for a new member and offered me coffee cake, which I didn't say no to because I have no sense or will power when it comes to food, so don't judge me!
     Anyway, I soon found out that this “reading group” was actually an outlet for unsatisfied women who read trashy romance novels late at night and then get together twice a month to share fantasies about the leading men.
    We were each required to give a five minute (blow-by-blow) monologue about our “ideal romantic gesture/situation”, complete with dramatic pauses and colorful embellishments.
    More than a few of which (unoriginally) involved tall dark and handsome strangers meaning the short and pudgy fair-haired fellows didn't stand a chance.
     I must say the group really opened my eyes to how impractical some romantic gestures can be such as:

     1. Candle lit dinners in a tent or on a boat – oh, the fire hazard!
     2. Surprise weekends without prior warning or packing – brings new meaning to “I have nothing to wear”.
     3. Strangers that appear unannounced in the middle of the night – creepy and just down right rude!
     4. Twelve-piece orchestras on private plane – really?
     5. Scooped up onto horses and riding for days with no food or destination – why would this be a good idea?
     6. Magically transported to medieval times with no modern day luxuries or creature comforts... uh, no!

How about just keeping it simple?
     I am a fan of escape but sometimes just some flowers, dinner and a new dress would suffice.

Ella Roberts,

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