Monday, December 29, 2014

WOMEN, DIETS & MONDAY!

I once had a friend named GG who was always on a diet and never failed to let everyone who would listen know about it.
     GG would start a diet every Monday morning without fail and be making excuses as to why she could no longer continue by Wednesday evening... at Happy Hour while insisting we add appetizers to our drink orders!
     By Sunday evening GG would be back in “diet mode”.
     Having binged on pizza and cake - that she claimed wouldn't come near her for at least two months, but we all knew she would be unashamedly scoffing by Thursday evening - GG would suddenly be motivated to devoting her stomach to Wheat grass and Kale come Monday morning.
     This woman had a knack for finding the most ridiculous “get thin quick” schemes known to man, most of which I believe were conjured up by bored journalists somewhere.
     Why would anyone think it is a good idea to live on tasteless, watery cabbage soup for a week?
     Which I only lasted three hours on before sneaking a piece of chicken when she wasn't looking, not to mention that stupid Maple Syrup nonsense!
     And the Snickers diet (yes, the candy bar) and of course the rice, beans and coffee...?
     Oh, what I let her talk me into.
     Anyway, I started thinking about GG when I came to a cruel realization of my very own: clothes don't lie!
     And when the only thing that fits is a pair of stretch pants that I still have to fight my way into, there is no denying that like millions of gut-suckers before me it is time to put down that dessert fork and pick up the salad one.
     Rabbit food, here I come!

Ella Roberts,

No comments:

Post a Comment